I laugh ....allot

It was so busy today. One call after another. I was so tired at the end of the day.I have been thinking about my jobs since 1996. The jobs have not been fun. I worked with homeless people, addicts, convicts, mentally ill, broke, sick. Oh sure I have moments of fun but overall it isn't fun. I want a job where I do allot of laughing, see allot of joy and of course I want $50k. So I have a job where I laugh allot, allot of joy and I am making $50k. I am free from debt. I having savings, and I am having FUN.

I am 56 and I am so sick of fucken drama

Joe and Heather broke up. Her parents showed up at the house today and told him he had to leave and they wanted her car. Do I understand yes I do, I would be pissed too. What I don't get is why people don't accept responsibility. She is in fucken jail for drinking and driving and killing someone. But its not her fault. She doesn't take any responsibility. That pissed Joe off. So he and Kelsey will be living together. I have a concern because its another relationship and kids are involved. Yes she loves those kids and they love her BUT how often will this happen. He is also depending on another woman. I get it but I hate it. I just wish his life would be settled.

You know what about me? I am going to Italy AND to Napa Valley. I am DEBT FREE and Money in the bank. Yahoo. Thank you for the freedom of money worries. I have a job that is FUN and pays$50k. I am a great sewer and a great writer.

Japan Tsunamie

What a horrible day for the country of Japan. I just can't imagine the horror of it. There have been so many disasters. Mother Nature has been so angry lately. Earthquakes, tsunamies, hurricanes, floods. Its been so crazy. I think God is mad. He is mad at the way we treat each other, mad at the horror of the way we use Him to destroy each other, mad at how we let greed take over, mad at the way we let people starve and suffer. Its no wonder He wants to wipe us all out. What a travesty we have made of the gift of life. I am so sorry. Pleae help me be better, please let the your light shine and make me humble.

Is there anything better than grandbabies. I don't think so. Ssaw them for breakfast yesterday. They were great. Joe can be a pain. But his kids are perfect. I just love them allot. We will be going to Kates in a couple of weeks. I will be getting a hair cut. How I don't know, Will have to color my hair first. Sometimes, I just want to say the hell with it but I don't I am sick of it. But I am vain.

Time to rejoice

Its time to rejoice and have some fun and to absolutely forget about dying. I have been having these thoughts that I am going to die, yea I know I eventually will but dying soon. That is so crazy. What a waste, its time to live. What do I want to do? Who knows. I know I want to absolutely spend much more time with my grandbabies, I really want to get sewing and learn more skills, get organized so I am not so overwhelmed. Have fun fun fun. I don't laugh enough. The programs I watch are dark. Why do I watch that stuff? Its a fascination of the psyche, but I got to laugh more. So what makes me laugh, my grandkids, my dog. Oh I don't know. But damn it I am going to find out.

Here we go again

I am so sick of weight. and what it represents. Out of control. I want to organize my life, which starts with stuff, so much stuff, whick will help with the money and the weight. I believe they are all intertwined. I am not giving up this time, I am giving in, Giving in that I have no control but am giving in which means I have to give in that they are all connected and with help this will be the year of success. I am going to succeed.

May 7, ALL Ready??

May 7, I can't believe it. Tonight I have been eating. UGH!! It has been a stressful week. I have a new boss, she is in Oregon. Why I don't know but what the hell why would they tell me anything?

I applied for a new job this week. Long Term Disablity. Who knows we will see. I am not going to stress about it. What will be will be. I am going to keep my nose clean and do my job. I will do what I have to do. If I don't get a new job right now. It will be. I believe I will get something or a new job at the right time.

I have not done any writing in a while. Sometimes I just don't know what to write. This weekend or tomorrow is Chris's birthday. 36!!My son is 36, I can't believe it. I really hope he has a great birhday. We will be having Mason tomorrow. It will be fun. I just love my grandchildren.

I will also be studying for the Insurance test, Ugh!! I will cause I have to. I will not fail this test.

Good night.