Exhale.

The holidays are over. Its a little sad but then it is also a good thing. No longer anticipating and hoping everything goes well. I am no longer wondering if I got the grandkids everything and no one was left out. Got them everything. If I could I would give them stability. Especially Joe's kids. We don't know what is going to happen this month with Heather. I just hope everything goes well for all of them. I wish I had the money to buy Joe a home for them so there would not be any question about where they will all be living. My wish would give to Chris work and have all his situations taken care of. I want to to have my kids exhale.

Wouldn't it be great if we could all exhale. Do I really have problems,no not really. I have a nice home, good relationship, bills are paid. I do have family with problems and I can't help.
That's not true, I can help but I can't take care of things. I want to give them all a break. Letting them exhale.

Its not my job is it. They are adults but they are my kids. I guess that is where the problem is. They are not kids. They are adults. I have to remember we all have paths to our lives, to learn lessons and realize what we have in our selves.

Oh crap, it sounds good doesn't it. But damn it I want to lift some of the burden. How powerful I am just nail me to the cross. I sound like a mother who wants to take care of her chicks and they don't get eaten. I want them to know all things will be all right. Heather will be there for Hannah's birthday. Chris will be home. I know in my gut it will be all right. I just want to know what the hell will be happening.

So I am going to hand it over again and exhale and know it will be all right ande then they will exhale. We will all exhale together and then I am having a great big glass of wine.